The men were completely out of their element on their camping trip. All of the men had been living in the city so long and when the CEO of their company had suggested that all the leaders of his company go on a camping trip to work on their leadership skills together, the men were all filled with dread.
They men had a surprisingly good time together for the first couple of days. However, on the third fay of the trip everything they ever thought could go wrong did. The men had no cell phone service and had been blowing through their resources a little too quickly. They decided to cut their trip short by a day and pack up their things.
The hike through the woods to get to their campsite was rather long, and the men had lost the map they originally used, so they were having a tough time finding the van they had driven to the national park. The men quickly got lost and they were very thirsty, so they decided to split into groups and search for someone to help.
The six men split into groups of two and they all set out to look for help.
The first pair of men, Joe and Peter spotted a pond and decided to stop there and freshen up. Joe decided to find the other men and tell them what they had found, while Peter set out to sit on the bank of the pond.
Peter reached out to get a handful of water when he suddenly heard a voice telling him to stop,
"You must first answer my riddle before you can enjoy the refreshing water!"
Assuming that the voice was coming from Joe just having a little fun, Peter reached out and continue to drink a mouthful from the pond. as soon as the water entered his belly, the voice struck him down. Peter, now nestled under a tree waiting for his friends, died for not obeying the commands of the voice.
Eventually, one by one, the men had found themselves at the foot of the pond. Each time they tried to get a drink and the voice commanded them to stop. Each time, the men assumed that the voice was just one of the others trying to play a joke so they drank the water anyway. Now five out of the six men laid dead by the pond.
Jeffrey, who had taken the role as leader throughout the trip found his way to the pond. Not noticing his friends scattered around on the ground, he approached the water to get a drink. Suddenly the booming voice stopped him and gave him the same deal as the other men, if he answers the riddles, he can drink however much water he pleased with no penalty. If not, he would die from drinking the water.
Jeffrey had been raised to believe in many things others found to be superstitious and he had heard rumors about superstitious beings living in the forest they had been camping in. Not recognizing the voice, he responded that he would accept the challenge.
The voice responded and gave a series of very difficult riddles, which Jeffrey answered with ease. The voice then revealed itself as the God of Wisdom and praised Jeffrey for his obedience and wisdom, and agreed to wake the other men up from their spell.
The men found their way back to their van and went back to the city. They knew this would be a camping trip they would never forget.
Authors Note: This story is my modernized version of Riddles at the Lake. I decided to modernize this story and give it a setting of these men camping. I had previously wanted to focus more on the riddles, but I thought it would be more fun to focus on the idea that in this setting, this is the men's first interaction with magic and the supernatural. I hope that this story is entertaining and I am very open to feedback about it so please leave a comment! As of now, this story is very bare bones because each time I tried to add specific details, the story got a little too lengthy. I would love suggestions on how to make the story a little more specific without it dragging on forever.
They men had a surprisingly good time together for the first couple of days. However, on the third fay of the trip everything they ever thought could go wrong did. The men had no cell phone service and had been blowing through their resources a little too quickly. They decided to cut their trip short by a day and pack up their things.
The hike through the woods to get to their campsite was rather long, and the men had lost the map they originally used, so they were having a tough time finding the van they had driven to the national park. The men quickly got lost and they were very thirsty, so they decided to split into groups and search for someone to help.
The six men split into groups of two and they all set out to look for help.
The first pair of men, Joe and Peter spotted a pond and decided to stop there and freshen up. Joe decided to find the other men and tell them what they had found, while Peter set out to sit on the bank of the pond.
Peter reached out to get a handful of water when he suddenly heard a voice telling him to stop,
"You must first answer my riddle before you can enjoy the refreshing water!"
Assuming that the voice was coming from Joe just having a little fun, Peter reached out and continue to drink a mouthful from the pond. as soon as the water entered his belly, the voice struck him down. Peter, now nestled under a tree waiting for his friends, died for not obeying the commands of the voice.
Eventually, one by one, the men had found themselves at the foot of the pond. Each time they tried to get a drink and the voice commanded them to stop. Each time, the men assumed that the voice was just one of the others trying to play a joke so they drank the water anyway. Now five out of the six men laid dead by the pond.
Jeffrey, who had taken the role as leader throughout the trip found his way to the pond. Not noticing his friends scattered around on the ground, he approached the water to get a drink. Suddenly the booming voice stopped him and gave him the same deal as the other men, if he answers the riddles, he can drink however much water he pleased with no penalty. If not, he would die from drinking the water.
Jeffrey had been raised to believe in many things others found to be superstitious and he had heard rumors about superstitious beings living in the forest they had been camping in. Not recognizing the voice, he responded that he would accept the challenge.
The voice responded and gave a series of very difficult riddles, which Jeffrey answered with ease. The voice then revealed itself as the God of Wisdom and praised Jeffrey for his obedience and wisdom, and agreed to wake the other men up from their spell.
The men found their way back to their van and went back to the city. They knew this would be a camping trip they would never forget.
This image is titled "camping" and comes from "s0ggy lettuce" on Flickr.
Authors Note: This story is my modernized version of Riddles at the Lake. I decided to modernize this story and give it a setting of these men camping. I had previously wanted to focus more on the riddles, but I thought it would be more fun to focus on the idea that in this setting, this is the men's first interaction with magic and the supernatural. I hope that this story is entertaining and I am very open to feedback about it so please leave a comment! As of now, this story is very bare bones because each time I tried to add specific details, the story got a little too lengthy. I would love suggestions on how to make the story a little more specific without it dragging on forever.
Hi Linsey!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I love that you modernized this story and gave the men their first taste of magic! I really like the personality that you were able to give the men throughout your story. There are a few grammatical errors in the first paragraph that are easy fixes like "However, on the third fay", and a few commas that could've been added throughout the story. Overall, I like your creativity and how you reinvented this story. Awesome job!
Linsey! A great modern take on the riddle story from the Mahabharata. For the story itself, each of the characters having their own shortly introduced personalities helped me feel a connection having never read about these characters before. In the Mahabharata, we get to meet the characters earlier on, so your way of introducing them was a great way to get us connected!
ReplyDeleteHi Linsey!
ReplyDeleteI love when people rewrite stories into their own version, as I know how difficult it can be trying to rewrite a story but keep to the original roots. I wrote a camping story as well and I found it so fun to write about nature for a bit, as I love being outside whenever possible. Really good story overall though!
Hey Linsey! In terms of giving you a little more word count to explore the riddles: You could definitely cut down on the exposition if you want to. While it's nice, and I would 100% say to keep what you have if there wasn't a length issue, I don't think all of the details about it being a company trip is super necessary. With the storytelling in this class, I've found it is acceptable (and can even be fun!) to start in what would normally seem like the middle of the story. I would also suggest you try to vary your word choice to keep the story from feeling too repetitive. "The men" is used over and over again. Try subbing some of them out for "the group" or "the boys" to give it some variance. Oh goodness I've written a lot... Sorry! :)
ReplyDelete